Wednesday, 29 October 2008

We are still here

just not much to blog. P came back from her weekend away, having done lots of terrifying things. She’d had a great time. Leo enjoyed the chance to spend a lot of time in the house doing his sort of stuff - imaginative play, reading, writing, eating... Dani got some pc and knitting time and I went to work a lot.

I went to my writing group last night, which was good, as usual. I took along a piece I’d written down in Cornwall and then re-worked. Reading Patrick Gale is making me long for Cornwall, so it’s good to indulge that in my writing.

We had found a nice looking, cheap holiday flat in York for the week we’re planning at the end of January. But they decided from my email enquiry that I am a Mrs (this is based on nothing but my mentioning that my family and I would like to stay in the flat) and sent us the booking forms addressed to Mr and Mrs. The accompanying letter was also very chatty. Putting the two together, I am inclined to find somewhere else. We had a horrible arrival in a house once, when the woman had her little welcome chocolates ready – addressed to me and my husband... It just gets a holiday off to such an uncomfortable start, when you have to get through a whole load of assumption shattering before you can relax. The holiday firm we use down in St Ives are nothing like that. They just ask for the names of people in the party and don’t invent you husbands... I did think of actually telling this firm that we won’t be using them, and why, and hoping this wakes them up to the amazing reality that not everyone in the world is part of a hetero couple.

Our local prospective Tory candidate has just done the very same thing – sent us a leaflet each, assuming that D is a man. What’s rather funny is that his leaflet is rather full of mentions of Brighton’s diverse population and so on and he, himself, looks rather light in the loafers... He hasn’t lost our votes though, so I don’t suppose he’d care if he’s p’d us off.

Right, better eat something before I leave for work. Isn’t it cold? The whole town seems to be a mass of coughing, sneezing people at the moment. I think I’ll add some extra vit C before I face the germy hordes...


Gill said...

"light in the loafers" - ROFL!

I can only imagine what that means.

Ugh to the hetero assumptions. It's not good - I think you should tell them, if you can be bothered. York's a great city though isn't it? I'd quite like to spend a week there.

Very cold here!

mamacrow said...

i was about to say maybe they were trying to be friendly and give a touchy feely service and maybe you should give them the benifit of the doubt and let them know you're actually Ms&Ms, when I suddenly twigged they'd asumed you were Mrs because you have kids.

say what?!

gosh that reminds me so uncomfortably when I was in hosp with my first baby (my one and only hosp birth I'm glad to say as I hate hosps) and I wasn't married, and everyone kept calling me 'Mrs ....' so I kept looking round for my mum!

got tired of saying 'no, i'm 'first name' and just answered to anything in the end!

admitedly that was 10 years ago.

you would have though society would have got used to the idea of unmarried mothers by now.

Allie said...

Oh, Lord, that's such an unconscious use of that term, Gill, and I realise I really should assure everyone that I have always used this in an entirely ironic, postmodern, not to mention affectionate way...

I don't know exactly what makes people assume things. Probably use of the word family. But, for goodness sake, I could have been intending to bring elderly parents or siblings, or second cousins from Sweden. It just gets me that people are so ready to allocate you a husband! I really don't want one, thanks...

Nic said...

Lol, I'd never heard the term light in the loafers either!

We're very conventional so usually people assume correctly about us but I do KWYM about the assumptions. I frequently get stuff addressed to 'Mr' if I've just used 'Nic' on something.

HelenHaricot said...

giggle, we have Dr and Mrs here, cos obviously he must be the doctor!
Is your new tory chap dave bull? i went to uni with him

Allie said...

Aaaargh, Helen, that must be very irritating! And, erm, (checks for any lurking lawyers in the comments box) yes, it is. So, tell me, is he?

alison said...

I had a phonecall from someone about loft insulating grants the other day - this sounded interesting, so I ignored the fact she'd asked for Mrs T (usually if they ask for Mr or Mrs T I say, honestly, that no one of that name lives here - don't bother telling them there's Ms T and Mr P).

Anyway, as the conversation carried on, I had to admit that I didn't know what sort of, if any, insulation was already in the loft. So she asked me if Mr T would know. "No, there is no Mr T." To which she replied, very sincerely and sympathetically, "Oh dear, I'm so sorry," which made me laugh so much I couldn't carry on the call.

Your landlady woman has not so much jumped, as pole vaulted to conclusions though - far too many variables to make that even probably.

Allie said...

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry!" That's hilarious. I wonder if she'd built you up a whole tragic tale?

I once did a market research interview about marmite:
"Do you like it?"
"Does your partner like it?"
"Aaah, well, that does seem to be very much related to sex..."
I was mystified and silent. What had marmite to do with sex? It wasn't until a few minutes later I realised she was talking about biological classification, not recreational activity.

HelenHaricot said...

giggle alison!!
dave at uni was a kind, creative, passionate about improving the world, dependable yet fun/zany. we did some rather dreadful housejobs together and had a laugh. i really liked him. he will be 100% committed to being a good mp for the area - i would be tempted to vote for him even if he is being a tory. i think they have chosen well in their candidate.

Allie said...

Sorry, Helen, but he's up against Caroline Lucas. I can't pass up the chance of getting the first Green mp elected. I can't vote Tory - however nice the candidate. Most of my family will be 'encouraging' me to vote for the Labour candidate, who's a good Leftie type.

Nic said...

Yeah but Helen we all want to know about the loafers!
PMSL @ Alison and even more so at Allie and the marmite - love or hate marmite I'm guessing not many people would consider it's use in their sexlife when answering market research questions!

HelenHaricot said...

being a thatcher child i am not sure that i could actually vote tory either! my dad had to give up voting, poor thing, in the thatcher years, and has only perked up with the disaster of the latter tony blair years to wash away the memories!!
i tend to be lib dem, though have voted green . here, it doesn't matter what i vote, as conservative will just get in whatever. we are not a swing state :smile:
'fraid dave's loafer score is going to remain undisclosed.